Hi you!
I felt it was time to write a personal update about life and Indonesia. It has already been almost one year living in Bali. And honestly, I had no idea that life could possibly turn out this way. But maybe I always have known.
I thought I would only be in Indonesia for two months. But now that I look back, it truly makes sense.
When I first stepped onto the airplane from Amsterdam to Bali, I already had a strong feeling that I wouldn’t return to the Netherlands that soon. A voice inside my head said, “Oh, well, you will be in Bali longer than six months.” While I responded back to the voice, “Uuhmmm, but HOW?” I could hear the voice telling me, “Just trust and watch it unfold.” (The voice being what I believe my highest Self.)
Sitting in that airplane from Amsterdam to Bali was some crazy upgrade. I could already feel the expansion and how it was time to truly spread my wings again. And this was exactly what my Soul was yearning for.
The Inner Temple Bali Retreat that took place in September 2023 was actually what led me back to Indonesia. It has always been my biggest dream to guide and show people the real, authentic side of the Island of Gods. Especially because I have seen the shadow sides of mass tourism myself (but that is for another story). Bali has always shown me another side away from the masses.
As some of you may know, I lived in Bali before from 2016 to 2019. The Island of Gods has always been a place for me to return home to because it is home.
Reclaiming my roots
These years have been filled with ups and downs. And one theme that has been a big one has been about reclaiming my roots. As a Dutch-Indonesian, I have always felt part of two different worlds. And I think it was always written in the stars for me to return to Indonesia. The more I spend my late 20s in Bali the more disconnected I started to feel with the ‘Western Society’. Everytime when I went back to the Netherlands it took me lot of time to really find my way again.
But I needed to find my way and myself again. I had no other choice when ‘global pandemic’ hit and I had to build my life from scratch in the Netherlands. It was far from easy, people started to fall out of my life. My relationship in Bali ended. And I felt in total shock. I would lie in bed for days as if I lost my lust for life and my roots in life. My sense of belonging and old identity gone.
My connection with Nature
During that time I slowly started to get back up, as if it was the only way to survive and re-awaken my Soul. I remember the only thing that gave me some sanity was nature herself.
I spend lot of times in solitude in the Forrest, going on walks, connecting with the elements. A place that felt like my safe Sanctuary.
Community Healed me
But what truly put me back together was real community. One day I got invited to join a Woman’s Moon Ceremony. I felt so seen and welcomed as if I was always part of this sisterhood. As if we always did this before: to reflect and remember each other of our gifts. We started to gather more and more untill one day we felt it was time to open our circle and we started to facilitate ceremonies.
We knew the powerful medicine of gathering, of showing up just the way you are. And it was also very needed during ‘pandemic’ times. To remind ourselves that we are lighthouses in dark times – remembering others to keep their light on aswell.
So fast forward i’m now literally sitting in the airplane – watching the blue ocean and the blue sky from above the clouds. Flying to Yogjakarta (Java island) and Kuala Lumpur to extend my visa and visit friends.
After this renewal I don’t have to fly out the country every two months and I’m sure it will really give more ease to grow my roots – take care of my ‘inner and outer’ garden and dream, new dreams into reality.
Feeling extremely blessed for all that these past years has shown me..
..To build a home within myself no matter what circumstances I find myself in.
..My time in the Netherlands, My Soul family (yall know who you are) and all that is now unfolding for me here in Indonesia..
I’m thankful for the steps I have taken..and also to acknowledge the risk that it took to be where I am today.
So, now, what’s next?
To be continued.
Thank you for being part of this journey and all the support! If you would like to receive these snippets. You are more than welcome to sign up to my news letter.
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